86. “Scare a Bear?” by Kathy Jo-Wargin

Do you still remember the “Moose on the Loose” we dealt with a few weeks ago? I hope that  if you did happen to meet a moose in your yard, our speculations helped you to properly deal with the tricky intruder. This time, Kathy-Jo Wargin has another serious question for us. “Do you know how to scare a bear?” Isn’t it a vital matter when you go camping or hiking? You must be ready even for the most unlikely emergencies.

So what would you do to scare a bear? Especially the one not so easy to scare? “Would you bang pots and pans?… Would you shout? Would you yell? Would you ring a loud bell?” What if that bear wanted to swim in your pool without a suit? Or fish from your boat without his own fishing rod? What about dinner with the beast? “Would you share your peas?” What if he wanted to stay overnight? Would your bed go “KERPLUNK” if he climbed in?

Well, it is easy to get carried away as far as potential scenarios, so it is also crucial to find a universal solution for a hard to scare bear, whatever happens.  I am not going to spill the beans, but I can tell you that the answer is in the book and it will surprise you. Go ahead and  find out for yourself. Your laughs are guaranteed as you go from one absurd idea and crazy picture to another.

I am disappointed with one thing, though, the rhyming. Although the pattern mimics the one in “Moose on the Loose”, this time it doesn’t have the same appeal in my opinion. It is much more inconsistent, which takes away from the overall flow and rhythm.

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