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“My Buddy, Daddy” by Agnieszka Chapas

If I’m going to die as a self-published author, at least I’m going to be a prolific one!

Check out my tribute to the father-son bond, inspired by my own sons and their bigger buddy, Dad.

 

http://www.blurb.com/books/5650861-my-buddy-daddy-agnieszka-chapas-dagna-ziolkowska

What is it Like to be a Mom?

The other day a young, single guy asked me what it is like to be a mom.  I found it odd that a young, single guy was curious. It’s not like he was interested in the position, right?  But his question made me think and re-think the meaning of motherhood.  Lots of thoughts were going through my head. Which ones describe it best:  lots of  multitasking and coffee, little sleep, little time for yourself and friends? Unless you are a super-mom that is. I’m not. But there are perks. Children bring out in us feelings that we would never experience otherwise. That unconditional love for another human being, who we gave birth to.  Or the better understanding for our own parents’ feelings.  What’s more, we get to see the world the way children discover it. We notice bugs on the sidewalk again.  We remember that puddles are for splashing.  And last but not least, little children are such wonderful snuggle-buddies.

But if I had to put  the meaning of motherhood in once sentence, I would simply say: Being a mom is like being in Heaven and Hell at the same time. 

Or, if I were to wrap it with metaphors, I would quote one of my poems, “Piece by Piece” (The Poet’s Place”)

“Like murky Van Gogh

And snazzy Matisse, 

In one frame

Agony and Bliss”

By the way, today someone else asked me how I stay so thin taking care of the kids all day. I told her that she basically answered her own question: Taking care of the kids all day.

The True Color of White Lies.

As many young people, my husband too got himself a tattoo back in college.  I’m not sure if he regrets having it done or not, but I know that he doesn’t want to encourage our boys to get one in the future.  As a result, when our five-year old asked him about the little picture on his skin, my quick-on-his-feet hubby responded that “a bad kid at school drew on him.” I found it hilarious. And clever.  A perfect white lie. On second thoughts, though, I started wondering if the creative excuses we feed our children with to cover up our own actions and mistakes are really worth it or will they backfire on us. If we don’t admit having done something silly or unreasonable, we draw a completely misleading picture of ourselves to our children. We make them believe that we are infallible. And if our children see that we are so flawless, they will  try to live up to our standards and will be afraid of making their own mistakes. And how are they suppose to learn vital life lessons if not by making mistakes and learning from them? As Joseph Conrad wisely said “It’s only those who do nothing that make no mistakes.” I don’t want my children to do nothing in fear of making mistakes. I tried it. It leads to even bigger mistakes.  And I don’t want our children to believe that we never did anything wrong or short-sighted. I just want them to understand that every mistake is a step forward if we learn from it. 

“I Don’t Want a Cool Cat!” by Emma Dodd

One of the advantages of having more than one child is that you get to read more picture books. When my older son was at preschool, I discovered Emma Dodd’s “Dog’s Colorful Day” A Messy Story about Colors and Counting. (You can read about it in my 2012 March Archives)  Now that my younger son is a toddler and we go through another round of old and new picture books, I was lucky enough to stumble upon another gem by Ms. Dodd, “I Don’t Want a Cool Cat!”

The story is pretty basic. A little girl is telling us what cat she would like to have and what feline she wouldn’t care about. But the wording and pictures are just delightful. 

She doesn’t want a “stuffy, over-fluffy cat” or “a slinky, dinky, twinky cat”. My favorite phrasing was for a greedy cat that she didn’t want:  “A “Meow, meow, please feed me cat.”  But she wants a “purry “cat, “a glad when I come home cat”, that she can call her own cat. 

I can’t tell you how many times my son demanded to read this book to him, over and over again. And I can’t tell you, how much pleasure it was to read it. This book virtually reads itself. It flows so effortlessly that you just want to keep enjoying it page after page after page.

Now the book has returned to the library, but the story still rings in our heads and we frequently recite our favorite lines.

“Mom-to Be & Mom-I-Am” by Agnieszka Chapas

“week by week

rolling

strolling

on two hearts

my wheels”

No, no, not me this time. My turn is over.  But I have just heard the big news from a friend. And y brother and his girlfriend will become parents in a few months. Another friend has just become a mom. The Miracle of Motherhood happens all the time and everywhere! And this little book of poetic reflections is dedicated to everyone expecting or living it.

http://www.blurb.com/b/5612959-mom-to-be-mom-i-am